The Sphinx

I've just been accused of showing as much emotion as the Sphinx does!
Really? Seriously?!

New Perspective

I need a new perspective, either that or i really need to use the bathroom! I am sick and absolutely tired, i need a change so bad i can taste it. Well, to be honest i dont know what i'm tasting because i have a feeling that if change took a bite off me bum i might not even feel it. I say i want change but yesterday i had change stare me in the face and challenge me but i backed down. Not in a cowardly manner because i gave it a shot but i finally realise that the change i need is on a level too complex for even i to comprehend. All i know is that i feel dissatisfied and even work isnt helping because i have a lot to do but i dont feel like doing anything. I just want my life to be different, i want to go somewhere new, meet new people, not have to worry about money or making my dreams a reality, i need change in a bad way. The worse part is right now, taking a vacation is totally out of the question, saving for my big project wont allow it. I didnt start the day intending to whine or complain but somehow this negativity crept up on me and i feel like if i write or talk about it i can shake it off. I try so hard to be perfect but i just cant, maybe the problem is i'm trying too hard. For one, its so frustrating when i try not to curse because its bad for my mind and mouth but then when i do curse it feels so good i shake my head at me and give myself the whatthehelliswrongwithyou look! This i guess is just one of those days and i swear if anyone i know tells me they just got a great new job, found the perfect guy or bought a new car i will not be held responsible for my actions for i will without a doubt put them out of my misery!!!
As you may have noticed, my last post mentioned being expectant about something, well, it didnt quite work out. Anyways, my fingers are still crossed but i admit they're beginning to cramp a bit so i'm asking God for the grace to not let go.
I could go on and on but if i dont get to work, being without a job will add itself to the list of things i can whine about! Xoxo.

My very own day!

Its my birthday!!! I woke up this morning, said a prayer, jumped out of bed went straight to the mirror and then i said out loud, "i'm 26" and i screamed. I cannot believe i'm this old, i mean, in four years i'll be thirty! thirty!!
Annyways, the big 26 feels great, notice how i've been proclaiming my age with no fear or hesitation? :)
One of the things i did before hand was ask God for a special gift today so fingers crossed i'll get it. Well, fingers crossed or not i will get it! Its a great day, i'm thankful to God for keeping me and being with me, he's been so wonderful to me and i appreciate and love him. It also never ceases to amaze me how much goodwill messages and calls i get, it always makes me feel special and loved.
So, here's to the best birthday ever!!! Cheers! Xoxo.

The Lists

I am absolutely in love with Labrinth!!! He has a beautiful voice, nicely chiselled features, dont know for certain but looks like he has a fab bod as well! I predict superstardom in no time and i'm almost always right about these things....
He's "let the sun shine" just makes me happy! There's nothing quite like music and i'm glad for each day i have with it. Its been there for me in so many ways, keeping me sane through the craziness. I am thankful for loads of things and i cant deny God has been awesome to me. I'll like to begin the month by saying i'm thankful for my life; crazy and wierd as stuff may get, i still appreciate it. I'm also thankful for my mum, family, friends, my job, my church,my good health, my new birthday shirt:-), the list goes on..
If you know you have much to be thankful to God for, dont hesitate to let him know. Have a blessed and wonderful new month.
PS: My birthday is on the 3rd and i have a wishlist as long as my arm and it includes a Harley Davidson, a red mini truck, a wonderful/ fantastic man, lots of money, and a lifetime's supply of Miss Dior Cherie and Still by Jlo. Please note that this list has not been written in the order of preference and it has barely scratched the surface!!! Feel free to contact me for more details:)) Laters, y'all xoxo.

Together.

Is there anything that you need desperately? Have you tried all you can to no avail? And are you at the point where you're ready to throw in the towel?
Well, dont! I have the perfect solution for you, pray. Prayer i tell you is the key, you need to pray continuosly starting now. Seriously, before you read further just shut your eyes and say a prayer to God in Jesus' name. I know how crazy life can get and the fact that sometimes it hits you below the belt. I find that the best thing in such situations is to pray. Remember, prayer should not be the last resort, make it the first. My bestest friend told me to pray and fast for the next three days, so i'm extending the same request to you, lets all pray together!
And believe by faith that you have recieved answers and before long you'll see physical expressions of all you hope for.
Major pointer though, you better be praying in accordance with God's will for us! If you pray for grace to rob a bank or pray for another person's husband or wife you are so on your own!! Take care of you xoxo!

Catch up

Its been too long!
I keep meaning to post stuff but somehow i never get around to it. Well i'm back now and its a very long list of drama i've got to tell about!
First, my knight in shinning is a huge jerk/oaf, he stood me up after i cooked for him and he didn't even call!!!!!
I cooked, i cooked darn it! Ok, i didn't cook because of him but what if i had, then he would have been a no show! That's just horrible! Anyways, considering how i mentioned i don't like to cook he probably had a premonition that the food could make his tummy run and decided to spare himself the embarrasment and let his feet do the running:). The truth is i'm not upset, i prayed and told God, "Father, i need you to remove anyone who should not be a part of my life from the picture, let the outcome of today reveal to me the next phase in the plan you have or don't have for me." I prayed specifically because he was beginning to take a lot of my mind time and i wasn't sure where we stood, well now i know he's not in the next phase so, "Hit the road Jack and dont you come back no more, no more, no more, no more, hit the road Jack and dont you come back no more!" He called the next day to apologise but hey, that ship has sailed...
On to the next one, my being propositioned! I met a man, he seemed quite nice, called often enough and so after asking and asking, i finally agree to have dinner with him. On the date day, i change into something nice, freshen up and leave from the office since i had to work late. I get to the venue, give him a call and he says come to room bla, bla, bla! Obviously, i saw red! What! i think just before i hang up and storm out of there. Seriously, what is wrong with the men folk?! This is someone i barely even knew and considering how long it took before i agreed to have dinner with him you'd think he'd tread lightly, so much for common sense! Nonsense, even if i begged him for money, couldn't he be a little subtle! Anyways, he proceeds to call like a gazzillion times and texts begging me to pick up my phone which i eventually do, and he gives a cock and bull explanation which i didnt even care enough to listen to. Come to room 767, hey!,now i've heard it all. Forgive me if i'm being overly dramatic, but come on, i didn't see that coming.
Ok, next, no, lets save next for tomorrow, i have to get back to work so i can blow this joint early, no working late for me today! Laters ya'll, xoxo.

Super Woman aka “The Rock”

There are moments in life that just really put a lot of things in perspective; especially as regards the future. Most times we don’t know what we want but it certainly helps if you know exactly what you don’t want. At least that way, you can make a start in any direction other than that you don’t want.
So, you might ask, what brought about my epiphany? A generator, a medium sized generator that refused to start! Yesterday evening after turning fuel into the gen (a chore I certainly don’t relish), I tried turning it on but it wouldn’t start so I checked the oil and found it was really dirty so I decide to pour out the dirty oil and replace it. After changing the oil, I pull on the starter but then the rope cut and in that moment I felt like screaming.
The horrible fact was we hadn’t had light in three days because the transformer had a problem and we had all sorts of things from soups to chicken and all in the freezer that needed preservation. In order words, the bloody gen had to come on and it was 7pm on a Sunday! Then the hunt began, I walked the length and breadth of my area trying to find anyone who could fix the gen. The roads were messed up because of the rains so I had to be very careful, dodging cars, bikes, strange looking men and gutters!
It was during my search that I realized how much I hated what I was doing, how many times have I had to fix things on my own, I am an electrician, a handyman and all you can think of on the home front because there’s no man around to help handle those sort of things. It made me appreciate my mum more for much as I get to do these things she’s been doing them for longer. I think awards should be given to single parents and for what it’s worth my Ma should be first in line!
She is a rock, she’s superwoman, she’s my mentor but then, I realize I’m not as strong as she is. I don’t want to have to deal with those sorts of issues, call me old fashioned but I want a man around who can handle things and leave me to take care of him and my babies. I’ve been known to be a rock and I’ve spent the better part of my life trying to prove that I don’t need anyone else and it took a generator breaking down to make me want to relinquish all hold on rockmanship!
I guess what I’m trying to say is, I know without a doubt that I don’t want to spend my life alone pretending to be a rock. We all need someone to share our lives with, the good and bad times. After all, what’s the point of a story if you have no one to tell it to? Well, I didn’t find anyone to repair the gen that night but someone promised to come over the next morning so I guess that settled that.
Need I add that I have begun fervent prayers for a gentle, kind, handsome, hardworking, churchgoing (true believer) man! It seems like a lot but with God all things are possible:) Laters y'all, xoxo…