Somebody save me! i dont care how you do it just save me!!!!
The reason for my shrieking? Yesterday i go over to my Ma's to help her decorate her home for Christmas as a good daughter, i also take her some souveniors i made for a client's event as a very good daughter. What do i get for all my goodness? I'll tell you, while setting up the living room she calls, i answer and she starts asking for details of how much the gifts i made for the client cost and i give her all the info and as i turn to leave she says, "If i make 150 of these and...." at this point being the inqusitive cat that i am i ask what she's doing gifts for and she says, "For your wedding of course!". Need i say i was in absolute shock and with my hand on my head i ask her, "You seriously called and was interogating me for this?! I guess at this point i must add that i'm seriously single with all my present options lacking a certain something, i wont go into details so i dont make you really sad. Needless to say this sort of not so subtle hints have been trailing me for some time now and i really need rescuing! So, somebody save me! i dont care how you do it just save me!!!! xoxo.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Evolving
It's amazing how little people will think of you while you're still in the process of becoming the person God has destined you to be. It's ok though, because what they think does not really matter, at the end of the day it’s what you think of yourself that counts. Don’t let anyone dictate who you are by their expectations of you, for they are not your God. I may not be all i want to be but i know for sure I’m still evolving and those who can’t see the gift that i am now, will perhaps recognize it a little too late.
I am especially grateful for the life i have, i can say there have been days i wished i could just lie in bed and not get up and there've been days I’ve felt totally ecstatic like nothing could ever go wrong. In other words, I’m living! And sometimes that’s really all you can do, live. We are alive so there's much to be thankful for even though it might not seem that way all the time (trust me i know). The presence of God's grace in our lives is not that there will be no storms but that we will weather and overcome the storms. I am not a preacher, I’m certainly not holy enough for that :) but i feel the need to encourage myself and as many who read this. Do not give up hope; believe in yourself and God's promise to his children that he will forever be by us.
Alright, that being said, let me not spoil this by gossiping today, I’m being good :) but there's plenty jist! I'll get to every alarming detail soon enough. XOXO!
I am especially grateful for the life i have, i can say there have been days i wished i could just lie in bed and not get up and there've been days I’ve felt totally ecstatic like nothing could ever go wrong. In other words, I’m living! And sometimes that’s really all you can do, live. We are alive so there's much to be thankful for even though it might not seem that way all the time (trust me i know). The presence of God's grace in our lives is not that there will be no storms but that we will weather and overcome the storms. I am not a preacher, I’m certainly not holy enough for that :) but i feel the need to encourage myself and as many who read this. Do not give up hope; believe in yourself and God's promise to his children that he will forever be by us.
Alright, that being said, let me not spoil this by gossiping today, I’m being good :) but there's plenty jist! I'll get to every alarming detail soon enough. XOXO!
Friday, December 3, 2010
How i feel
Sheet! Lol! So i shouldn’t curse, well sheet then! I know it’s absolutely ridiculous and i have no clue why i just said that. Well, today i want to start off by writing about substituting. I feel like i compensate for the things that are lacking in my life with coffee. I mean, it’s my life so i should know when i start forming habits, right? When the going is good i can do without coffee and i decide i need to cut back on my intake. Then when things get pretty crazy, i fall back into coffee mode needing it to kick off my day, sustain me through the day and settle me down to a restless night.
I've even started jogging again, not because i feel the need to be health conscious but because i need to calm my agitated soul. I can’t sleep so i pound the streets at 5am or some minutes past 5 instead of tossing and turning in bed. The good thing is I’ll probably have a better shape if i carry on this way by the time i get past this phase. I should be happy, i have a job that pays, a roof over my head, a guy who says he wants my heart in his hand... but I’m not (You know the heart in hand bit is serious material for jist , right? :) Anyways, i haven’t been able to shake my restlessness and i find it hard to pray, i know it’s bad because it’s at this point i really need God's grace but it’s difficult. I try though, but i know i can do better. I guess we all go through phases when we're not pleased with our lives, this is it for me. For starters, i miss someone who i have absolutely no business missing because i only cause him drama; my closest friends are far away; someone i considered a friend pissed me off because i don’t have a car; i have no love to call my own which is not from a lack of looking or prophesying positively :) and i keep getting questions like when is it? who is it?; I’m detesting a client i have to work with right now and i have to keep smiling even when I’m thinking," if i could just bash your freaking face in!". But there could be worse things, my friends could be dead and not just far away; the one i miss could be oblivious to me; i could be without a job and no pay hence the possibility of me ever getting a car nil; i could have lost my ability to ever love and my faith in it as well; and i could be living with someone as annoying as my client. My life could be all of these things but it’s not so i guess there's a silver lining and much to be thankful for.
Life is what it is, it’s never perfect but it’s ours to live and the decision to look forward with optimism remains ours. I may not be all i want to be, have all i want to have but i know that things will not always remain like this, I’ll look back someday soon and say," Wow, how did i ever make it this far" (Amen) Xoxo.
I've even started jogging again, not because i feel the need to be health conscious but because i need to calm my agitated soul. I can’t sleep so i pound the streets at 5am or some minutes past 5 instead of tossing and turning in bed. The good thing is I’ll probably have a better shape if i carry on this way by the time i get past this phase. I should be happy, i have a job that pays, a roof over my head, a guy who says he wants my heart in his hand... but I’m not (You know the heart in hand bit is serious material for jist , right? :) Anyways, i haven’t been able to shake my restlessness and i find it hard to pray, i know it’s bad because it’s at this point i really need God's grace but it’s difficult. I try though, but i know i can do better. I guess we all go through phases when we're not pleased with our lives, this is it for me. For starters, i miss someone who i have absolutely no business missing because i only cause him drama; my closest friends are far away; someone i considered a friend pissed me off because i don’t have a car; i have no love to call my own which is not from a lack of looking or prophesying positively :) and i keep getting questions like when is it? who is it?; I’m detesting a client i have to work with right now and i have to keep smiling even when I’m thinking," if i could just bash your freaking face in!". But there could be worse things, my friends could be dead and not just far away; the one i miss could be oblivious to me; i could be without a job and no pay hence the possibility of me ever getting a car nil; i could have lost my ability to ever love and my faith in it as well; and i could be living with someone as annoying as my client. My life could be all of these things but it’s not so i guess there's a silver lining and much to be thankful for.
Life is what it is, it’s never perfect but it’s ours to live and the decision to look forward with optimism remains ours. I may not be all i want to be, have all i want to have but i know that things will not always remain like this, I’ll look back someday soon and say," Wow, how did i ever make it this far" (Amen) Xoxo.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
