Stuck in a rut?

Do you feel like you’ve been in one place for too long?

Do you feel like everyone else is moving forward and you’re not?

Have you for the 100th time not started that book, business or project you’ve always wanted to start?

Have you let that dream you thought was your purpose in life go?

Do you feel stagnated? Like your life is caught in the shadow, neither moving into the light or fading away?

Do you feel like you are not making a difference in any way, changing the world like you always thought you would?

Why?

Why aren’t you doing the things you ought to?

What are you waiting for?

There will probably never be a perfect time, so why don’t you make this the perfect time..

Start!

Break free of your fear and uncertainties and just start!

Yes, things are not all in place but when are things ever totally in place? Take the chance and take that bold step with your heart pounding and your chin in the air and head held high, work towards your destiny. Do not let the naysayers stop you, they do not have the power, only you have the power to stop yourself! Fall, rise, fall again and rise again, don't ever stay down.

Strive towards your destiny, live your dream.

About the ones that break your heart

Forgive.

Sometimes people do things that remind you of situations and times you’d rather forget. They make decisions that remind you that you’re not really their blood but just a “friend”. They break the confidence and trust you have in them by sharing your secrets; they lie to you; they push you away when all you ever wanted to do was love them.

I think the really bad part is when you start to behave badly because, you claim to be “giving as good as you get.” That is just wrong, you cannot and should not change who you are because someone does not appreciate you. Hard as it is, you must show compassion and love, even when they least deserve it because that’s the best time to really show love and compassion. If a person smothers you with love, it’s easy to love them back but then where’s the sacrifice in that? What sets you apart is being able to love someone when they do not treat you well, then you’ll really be doing something special.

That being said, you must also be able to make the distinction as to when a relationship becomes toxic and is draining you. You must be able to take care of yourself, you must know when to walk away hard as it may seem. There are relationships that are no good for you, that friend that’s always making you do things you know in your heart aren’t right; that friend that’s always making you angry and bitter; that friend who’s always saying negative things about you; that friend who is quick to believe the worst about you… these are all toxic and you need to let those sort of people go. We all form attachments but the time comes when you have to do what’s best for you, letting them go with no grudge within.

It’s easy to say all these things, the hard part is actually doing it. The trick is to take it one day at a time, letting go prayerfully.

Just a thought

If you take the time to really think about it…

Recently I got to thinking how sad it is when you love someone and they don’t love you back. There are times when it’s almost like a physical ache in your chest, it really hurts. Then this thought came to me, "How must God feel when he loves us so much more than we could possibly imagine and we keep throwing his love back in his face?" We betray him, let him down and yet he continues to love us.

Is there any comparism at all?

I just think when we love and don’t have the love returned no matter who you are, it really hurts.

Just a thought...

Xoxo.

Liberating

It's amazing how wonderful music is, It's incredibly liberating!

Bring me to life

So much for my match maker skills, my friend said she didn’t want to meet her crush because reality ruins it all. I agree with her, as a crush he can be whatever you want him to be, he can actually be perfect, so I decided to let her enjoy her fantasy.

I’ve been so busy planning Genes ApART, an art exhibition for Nkechi and Nduka Abii and I got totally consumed by it. It’s finally done now but I feel bad I didn’t get around to putting up the details here so you could come take a look, but then I’ll put up pictures from time to time and I hope you get a feel of what it was like. The Speed Art was unique and fantastic and people were completely blown away by it. i felt so proud of the artists, they put up an amazing show.

Remember Marcus? He came back into my life and lied about breaking up with his girlfriend. I kept asking myself, “To what end, what did he think I’d do? Jump into bed with him?” It’s so ridiculous I couldn’t even be upset, I found the situation amusing and ridiculous and him even more so and whatever respect I had for him has been completely lost. I’ve totally erased him, that sort of person isn’t worth the time it would take to give him any thought at all, much more emotions. He’s a grade A douche bag and I hope the silly little punk finds Jesus because he needs all the help he can get.

Anyways to more interesting gist, I had a really young boy try to chat me up, he couldn’t have been more than 23, it was cute and actually quite refreshing. Cougar villa may be the way for me o, he was very charming and seemed to hang onto my every word, we talked about music, personalities amongst other things and I found his point of view on life interesting. It was nice to have an idea of what boys his age think of certain matters. Anyways, I promptly dismissed him as soon as the conversation was over, I don’t need someone’s parents calling family meeting on my behalf biko, not to talk of police for robbing the proverbial cradle.

Oh well, it’s back to work for me, so much has happened in the past couple of weeks, it’s hard to keep track but the constant things have been God’s love for me and my love for music and my appreciation for the amazing friends and family I’ve been blessed with. Have an amazing week and I hope I don’t stay way for as long as I did the last time. XOXO

Matchmaker Queen!

I need a Tiara because I’m about to get the award for match maker of the year!!!!! I’m so excited and I haven’t even started my matchmaking yet but I got a feeling!!!!!!

So, the thing is, my best friend has a crush! I haven’t heard her go on about any guy in so long since some guy with an animal name, “Pookie” or something from some series called The Game, I’m not so sure anymore, then there was Malcolm from Single Ladies, but as you may have noticed these people cannot be referred to as human beings in this situation because they are so far away and what are the odds… Hence my unadulterated joy because she has come down to earth and has set her sights on someone we at least know is for real! And yes, I think he has the original hammer head of horror but I will not let a mere head stand in the way of true love regardless of how huge the head is…

Of course, she’s going to spend her spare time daydreaming about the two of them in Paris or on some cruise or something silly but being the best friend that I am, I shall take matters into my hands and make it my project to get him for her. He won’t know what hit him! I can’t even sit still typing this, my mind is flying everywhere trying to find a way where there seems to be no way!

He’s kind of popular, he does this well-known TV series and I also happen to have a few friends who are friends with him. I’ll start from there, hopefully I’ll get a number and we’ll see how it goes. I’m not even thinking of whether he’s seeing someone or anything, if I can just get him to call her, she’ll flip and that would be worth everything!

Alright, now for a bit of plotting, planning and scheming (in a good way o) yay!!!blockquote>PS: I always liked Low Key by Banky W but now for some reason I’m loving it and I have it on replay. It’s the rap that gets me, I’m like wat! I didn’t even realise it was Banky that did it and now I’m hooked!

Wish me luck, Xoxo!

Letting go, the hardest thing.

Letting go is the hardest thing to do, and I think it hits you the hardest when after all the time spent trying to let go, someone does the unthinkable and mentions the name of the person who you should be letting go of and it feels like your heart just slammed out of place and into your ribcage and you aren’t quite sure what’s stunning you, the fact that your heart moved or the fact that it moved when the person’s name was mentioned.

After all this time, after all the self-talk about you being able to do better by far and the talk from your friends telling you what a punk your punk was, your silly little heart still didn’t get the memo. After your eyes almost wept blood, after your fingers went through the pain of deleting all those messages and pictures, after your feet pounded pavement in a bid to erase him, your thighs still hurt from all the jogging! After you stopped your poor ears from listening to songs you love because it reminds you of this person, after your brain made a fantastic case for why you should be apart and how you can do better, your silly little heart still did not get the memo! Isn’t the entire body supposed to work as a unit?! Isn’t every part of you supposed to support every other part of you?! How can your heart not get this memo?! How can my heart not get this memo?!

How is this even possible! What makes it even worse is when said individual has moved on totally, doesn’t even mention your name like they never knew you existed, that is just the killer! Whoever said letting go was hard lied, it’s the hardest thing to do. Especially when you want to but it seems like the world is conspiring against you. All of a sudden the person’s name becomes the most popular, everyone has the same name, everywhere you turn every girl is called Julia, everywhere you turn every boy is called John! Even the carpenter now wants to go by his other name John! Seriously?!!!

I honestly cannot say the surest and fastest way to letting go but I’ve realised in my experience that if you don’t go through the natural process of anger, pain and grieving you won’t move on. Don’t repress the feelings, just feel what you feel and then slowly but surely you will start to heal but while you’re at it you must not forget the most important thing of all: make new memories! Start living again, go out, learn to dance, sing out loud, laugh, be open to new experiences, try new stuff, if you can afford it make time and take a trip, live! Try to do all these and pretty soon you’ll begin to feel like yourself again.

I guarantee you that we cannot remain the walking wounded forever. So, here’s to surviving that train wreck and coming out on top and still remaining open to finding what everyone is really looking for; True love….Xoxo. I was listening to A Thousand Years- Christina Perri when I wrote this and for some reason it made me weepy (I am not the weepy sort, nothing wrong with the weepy sort though) Don’t know why i put that down... Live! Xoxo!

Oyibo o!

Ok so I’m on a roll today, I can’t seem to stop writing. What is with some, dare I say most of us and phonetics bikonu? I have come to the conclusion that if someone is speaking with an accent to us, I think we instinctively feel the need to match the persons tone regardless of whether we can speak it or not!! I mean, why else will someone who can’t string two proper tenses along to save his life try to speak phonetics when he’s having a conversation with someone who’s speaking with an accent?! Instinct I tell ya! Don’t get it twisted o, I find that I’m not above such blatant oyiboism because the other day, a Doctor from a clinic I visited called me and he was speaking with this very nice Britico accent and I found myself going all British and when I realised what I was doing, I rolled my eyes at myself! In my mind I said to myself, ”C’mon! Seriously?! ” But by then I was too far gone to stop so I brazenly went at it, kilode?! Why do they think we can be oppressed by oyibo?! Lol, it’s so silly but it occurred to me so I figured I’d write about it. Xoxo!

Oh yea now my internet isn’t working so I’ll just have to save this and upload it tomorrow. Smh for Swift network, una try o.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Am I the only one who gets seriously freaked out and upset when someone uses their laptop without permission? I mean it’s not like I’m hiding anything but it’s my baby! I’m the only one who has a right to touch d’Artagnan! Lol, I know this may come across as being dramatic but it’s how I feel. Just because I didn’t carry him home with me the night before doesn’t mean I want to get to work the next day and find someone’s been touching and using him without my permission!

And yes, I named my laptop d’Artagnan aka Memphis, I love d’Artagnan in Three Musketeers and I love Memphis Raines in Gone in Sixty Seconds, who says I can’t get the best of both worlds?!

Anyways, we all have a right to what we like and don’t like and I do not appreciate people who take or use my stuff without permission, it’s that simple, just ask me! So of course I have told the culprit how I feel and changed my password to make sure that doesn’t happen again otherwise, heads will roll!!

I’m all done with my tirade now.

This may seem like being dramatic to some but at the end of the day we all have our little traits and this is mine. After all, I don’t complain about guys who won’t let anyone else drive their cars….. In other words, let’s all try to respect each other. Have an awesomefull day Xoxo!

Talk, Speak, Say, Tell ... just let it out

Being busy is putting it mildly, i’m organising an Arts Exhibition and it’s been really tedious, I’m grateful for the opportunity to get involved in something new though so despite it being kinda stressful, I’m enjoying it. The not so great part about it is getting sponsors, how do you get off telling someone to give you 1 million when they aren’t even prepared to part with 1 naira?! Anyways, something will work out, I hope!

So, work is going great but my personal life as always is a total riot, I don’t know how I do it but I feel like I deserve an award for being “Impossible at relationships”. The only silver lining is that I made up with my best friend who I stopped speaking with because I just felt like not speaking with her. Ok, that’s not entirely true, I didn’t stop speaking with her because I just didn’t feel like. I did because I was going through a phase were I felt like I was in my own little world and going through my own personal struggles and no one understood. I felt like I was alone and I magically expected her to sense it and try to get me out of the hole I was sinking into but of course she is not a witch and didn’t know, considering that she had personal issues of her own and I didn’t talk to her.

Well, I eventually got over myself and mended the rift. I finally appreciate that there are times when the people who care about us will sense when there’s a problem, but sometimes they won’t. Sometimes we hide it so well that even when we’re hoping they see, they don’t. If you don’t talk about it or let someone in, there are chances you’ll drown in your pain because the truth is everyone has their own issues and much as they will love to help you, chances are they can’t see past their own pain. The trick is to stay open, to talk to one another and try to be the support system that friends and family are meant to be. People have lost out on great relationships because they couldn’t say what was on their minds, we can’t afford to keep making the same mistakes over and over again, just say what’s on your mind and hope for the best. No, work at the best.

Oh yea and I told a jerk he was a jerk with a few choice words and it felt totally amazing! I figure I should insult the crap out of people more, it’s quite liberating hehehe.. Xoxo

Common-The Believer ft. John Legend

Then there’s that beautiful song Common and John Legend created together called “The Believer”!!!!! Totally incredibly awesome! Inspiring and soul lifting! Everyone needs to listen to this song at least once every day, it’s truly beautiful. The whole song is amazing from the arrangement, tune, lyrics, the voices, everything. If ever there were a perfect song, it’d be this. I love! Listen and thank me later for those of you who haven’t yet! Xoxo

Hope and Faith

At times it seems that life throws us more curve balls than we’re able to handle or that God has way too much faith in us since everyone says that God will never give you more than you are able to handle…

We each face challenges that we wish we could blink away but unfortunately, we go to sleep to wake up and find that they remain despite our fervent prayers.

My aim today is not to remind you of the fact that we all have issues we wish we didn’t have, it’s not to tell you that your case is not as hopeless as you think it is or to tell you that other people are dealing with harsher circumstances. My aim is to tell you that this is your life and it is worth living. My aim is to give you hope which will strengthen your faith, to make you secure in the knowledge that no matter what you face, you have a father in heaven who cares for you more than you can possibly imagine. His desire is that we come to him, that we bring our issues to him, and let him mould us into who we really need to be.

This life is not easy but your relationship with God will make it worth the while and he will give you grace to see past the pain and smile from your heart because it will all be well. This note is for me as much as for anyone who reads it and needs a reminder to keep the faith and not give up just yet.

I know what it feels like to want to throw in the towel and just let go but I refuse to give up, I’m a fighter and knowing God is there for me encourages me, I’m secure in the knowledge that he’s got me. This doesn’t mean that once in a while I don’t get worried, scared or feel overwhelmed, but it is specifically for those moments that i write this, so I remember not to worry, be scared or feel overwhelmed because the Lord God will never let me fall so I have to trust in his love for me.

I hope this helps you.

With all my love, xoxo.

New Beginnings

Thank God for the grace to have made it into a new year, may this year be full of wonderful blessings and testimonies for us all.

I asked a few people to give me their definitions of love and i'll be sharing a few of them..

Love is Jesus Christ choosing to die for us despite the fact that he didn't even know us and doing it with such valour and humility that thousands of years later, people use his actions as the true definition of love. - Red

Define love...ive defined the word like four different times in my life..at first its the best feeling in the world, taking you to heights you've never been emotionally, its like being high and just loving the feeling, and then its like being attached to someone like there's no letting go. Like everything that happens was pre-planned by some force, like every second you're together was meant to be. Then it takes control of your judgement, she/he can do no wrong,no matter how many times she/he hurts you...its only normal we all make mistakes....the same excuse rings through your head...you hurt, but tell yourself its okay, its just for a while. You're afraid to make the decision that might end the love trip but give you what you set out looking for in the first place...happiness. Finally you're trapped, choking on your own die hard committment to love..holding fast to the mast of a sinking ship, beyond hopeless, but patiently staring at the sun set and hopin for light. In most cases the end is always predictable, in other cases..well..i've never forsen another end...define love? - Angel

Love is seeing a person for who he or she is, flaws and all, terrible kisser and all and still feeling an overwhelming swell in your heart when you think of them.- Anonymous

Love is God sacrificing his only son so we could all have life.- John 3-16, The Bible.

Love is a feeling that you feel when you're feeling a feeling you've never felt before. Miss Qi ( she borrowed this one though, lol)

I have a couple more to share but this will be it for today.

Stay blessed, Xoxo.

PS: I'll be exploring this love subject a bit more, i've always found it fascinating. I'll also be looking into productivity, i haven't figured out how this will play out yet but this 2013, i need to hammer bigtime and it'll be my pleasure to also have you hammer with me :) So, here's to us hammering and having the most prosperous year of our lives so far! Xoxo!