Save me

Somebody save me! i dont care how you do it just save me!!!!
The reason for my shrieking? Yesterday i go over to my Ma's to help her decorate her home for Christmas as a good daughter, i also take her some souveniors i made for a client's event as a very good daughter. What do i get for all my goodness? I'll tell you, while setting up the living room she calls, i answer and she starts asking for details of how much the gifts i made for the client cost and i give her all the info and as i turn to leave she says, "If i make 150 of these and...." at this point being the inqusitive cat that i am i ask what she's doing gifts for and she says, "For your wedding of course!". Need i say i was in absolute shock and with my hand on my head i ask her, "You seriously called and was interogating me for this?! I guess at this point i must add that i'm seriously single with all my present options lacking a certain something, i wont go into details so i dont make you really sad. Needless to say this sort of not so subtle hints have been trailing me for some time now and i really need rescuing! So, somebody save me! i dont care how you do it just save me!!!! xoxo.

Evolving

It's amazing how little people will think of you while you're still in the process of becoming the person God has destined you to be. It's ok though, because what they think does not really matter, at the end of the day it’s what you think of yourself that counts. Don’t let anyone dictate who you are by their expectations of you, for they are not your God. I may not be all i want to be but i know for sure I’m still evolving and those who can’t see the gift that i am now, will perhaps recognize it a little too late.
I am especially grateful for the life i have, i can say there have been days i wished i could just lie in bed and not get up and there've been days I’ve felt totally ecstatic like nothing could ever go wrong. In other words, I’m living! And sometimes that’s really all you can do, live. We are alive so there's much to be thankful for even though it might not seem that way all the time (trust me i know). The presence of God's grace in our lives is not that there will be no storms but that we will weather and overcome the storms. I am not a preacher, I’m certainly not holy enough for that :) but i feel the need to encourage myself and as many who read this. Do not give up hope; believe in yourself and God's promise to his children that he will forever be by us.
Alright, that being said, let me not spoil this by gossiping today, I’m being good :) but there's plenty jist! I'll get to every alarming detail soon enough. XOXO!

How i feel

Sheet! Lol! So i shouldn’t curse, well sheet then! I know it’s absolutely ridiculous and i have no clue why i just said that. Well, today i want to start off by writing about substituting. I feel like i compensate for the things that are lacking in my life with coffee. I mean, it’s my life so i should know when i start forming habits, right? When the going is good i can do without coffee and i decide i need to cut back on my intake. Then when things get pretty crazy, i fall back into coffee mode needing it to kick off my day, sustain me through the day and settle me down to a restless night.
I've even started jogging again, not because i feel the need to be health conscious but because i need to calm my agitated soul. I can’t sleep so i pound the streets at 5am or some minutes past 5 instead of tossing and turning in bed. The good thing is I’ll probably have a better shape if i carry on this way by the time i get past this phase. I should be happy, i have a job that pays, a roof over my head, a guy who says he wants my heart in his hand... but I’m not (You know the heart in hand bit is serious material for jist , right? :) Anyways, i haven’t been able to shake my restlessness and i find it hard to pray, i know it’s bad because it’s at this point i really need God's grace but it’s difficult. I try though, but i know i can do better. I guess we all go through phases when we're not pleased with our lives, this is it for me. For starters, i miss someone who i have absolutely no business missing because i only cause him drama; my closest friends are far away; someone i considered a friend pissed me off because i don’t have a car; i have no love to call my own which is not from a lack of looking or prophesying positively :) and i keep getting questions like when is it? who is it?; I’m detesting a client i have to work with right now and i have to keep smiling even when I’m thinking," if i could just bash your freaking face in!". But there could be worse things, my friends could be dead and not just far away; the one i miss could be oblivious to me; i could be without a job and no pay hence the possibility of me ever getting a car nil; i could have lost my ability to ever love and my faith in it as well; and i could be living with someone as annoying as my client. My life could be all of these things but it’s not so i guess there's a silver lining and much to be thankful for.
Life is what it is, it’s never perfect but it’s ours to live and the decision to look forward with optimism remains ours. I may not be all i want to be, have all i want to have but i know that things will not always remain like this, I’ll look back someday soon and say," Wow, how did i ever make it this far" (Amen) Xoxo.

The Sphinx

I've just been accused of showing as much emotion as the Sphinx does!
Really? Seriously?!

New Perspective

I need a new perspective, either that or i really need to use the bathroom! I am sick and absolutely tired, i need a change so bad i can taste it. Well, to be honest i dont know what i'm tasting because i have a feeling that if change took a bite off me bum i might not even feel it. I say i want change but yesterday i had change stare me in the face and challenge me but i backed down. Not in a cowardly manner because i gave it a shot but i finally realise that the change i need is on a level too complex for even i to comprehend. All i know is that i feel dissatisfied and even work isnt helping because i have a lot to do but i dont feel like doing anything. I just want my life to be different, i want to go somewhere new, meet new people, not have to worry about money or making my dreams a reality, i need change in a bad way. The worse part is right now, taking a vacation is totally out of the question, saving for my big project wont allow it. I didnt start the day intending to whine or complain but somehow this negativity crept up on me and i feel like if i write or talk about it i can shake it off. I try so hard to be perfect but i just cant, maybe the problem is i'm trying too hard. For one, its so frustrating when i try not to curse because its bad for my mind and mouth but then when i do curse it feels so good i shake my head at me and give myself the whatthehelliswrongwithyou look! This i guess is just one of those days and i swear if anyone i know tells me they just got a great new job, found the perfect guy or bought a new car i will not be held responsible for my actions for i will without a doubt put them out of my misery!!!
As you may have noticed, my last post mentioned being expectant about something, well, it didnt quite work out. Anyways, my fingers are still crossed but i admit they're beginning to cramp a bit so i'm asking God for the grace to not let go.
I could go on and on but if i dont get to work, being without a job will add itself to the list of things i can whine about! Xoxo.

My very own day!

Its my birthday!!! I woke up this morning, said a prayer, jumped out of bed went straight to the mirror and then i said out loud, "i'm 26" and i screamed. I cannot believe i'm this old, i mean, in four years i'll be thirty! thirty!!
Annyways, the big 26 feels great, notice how i've been proclaiming my age with no fear or hesitation? :)
One of the things i did before hand was ask God for a special gift today so fingers crossed i'll get it. Well, fingers crossed or not i will get it! Its a great day, i'm thankful to God for keeping me and being with me, he's been so wonderful to me and i appreciate and love him. It also never ceases to amaze me how much goodwill messages and calls i get, it always makes me feel special and loved.
So, here's to the best birthday ever!!! Cheers! Xoxo.

The Lists

I am absolutely in love with Labrinth!!! He has a beautiful voice, nicely chiselled features, dont know for certain but looks like he has a fab bod as well! I predict superstardom in no time and i'm almost always right about these things....
He's "let the sun shine" just makes me happy! There's nothing quite like music and i'm glad for each day i have with it. Its been there for me in so many ways, keeping me sane through the craziness. I am thankful for loads of things and i cant deny God has been awesome to me. I'll like to begin the month by saying i'm thankful for my life; crazy and wierd as stuff may get, i still appreciate it. I'm also thankful for my mum, family, friends, my job, my church,my good health, my new birthday shirt:-), the list goes on..
If you know you have much to be thankful to God for, dont hesitate to let him know. Have a blessed and wonderful new month.
PS: My birthday is on the 3rd and i have a wishlist as long as my arm and it includes a Harley Davidson, a red mini truck, a wonderful/ fantastic man, lots of money, and a lifetime's supply of Miss Dior Cherie and Still by Jlo. Please note that this list has not been written in the order of preference and it has barely scratched the surface!!! Feel free to contact me for more details:)) Laters, y'all xoxo.

Together.

Is there anything that you need desperately? Have you tried all you can to no avail? And are you at the point where you're ready to throw in the towel?
Well, dont! I have the perfect solution for you, pray. Prayer i tell you is the key, you need to pray continuosly starting now. Seriously, before you read further just shut your eyes and say a prayer to God in Jesus' name. I know how crazy life can get and the fact that sometimes it hits you below the belt. I find that the best thing in such situations is to pray. Remember, prayer should not be the last resort, make it the first. My bestest friend told me to pray and fast for the next three days, so i'm extending the same request to you, lets all pray together!
And believe by faith that you have recieved answers and before long you'll see physical expressions of all you hope for.
Major pointer though, you better be praying in accordance with God's will for us! If you pray for grace to rob a bank or pray for another person's husband or wife you are so on your own!! Take care of you xoxo!

Catch up

Its been too long!
I keep meaning to post stuff but somehow i never get around to it. Well i'm back now and its a very long list of drama i've got to tell about!
First, my knight in shinning is a huge jerk/oaf, he stood me up after i cooked for him and he didn't even call!!!!!
I cooked, i cooked darn it! Ok, i didn't cook because of him but what if i had, then he would have been a no show! That's just horrible! Anyways, considering how i mentioned i don't like to cook he probably had a premonition that the food could make his tummy run and decided to spare himself the embarrasment and let his feet do the running:). The truth is i'm not upset, i prayed and told God, "Father, i need you to remove anyone who should not be a part of my life from the picture, let the outcome of today reveal to me the next phase in the plan you have or don't have for me." I prayed specifically because he was beginning to take a lot of my mind time and i wasn't sure where we stood, well now i know he's not in the next phase so, "Hit the road Jack and dont you come back no more, no more, no more, no more, hit the road Jack and dont you come back no more!" He called the next day to apologise but hey, that ship has sailed...
On to the next one, my being propositioned! I met a man, he seemed quite nice, called often enough and so after asking and asking, i finally agree to have dinner with him. On the date day, i change into something nice, freshen up and leave from the office since i had to work late. I get to the venue, give him a call and he says come to room bla, bla, bla! Obviously, i saw red! What! i think just before i hang up and storm out of there. Seriously, what is wrong with the men folk?! This is someone i barely even knew and considering how long it took before i agreed to have dinner with him you'd think he'd tread lightly, so much for common sense! Nonsense, even if i begged him for money, couldn't he be a little subtle! Anyways, he proceeds to call like a gazzillion times and texts begging me to pick up my phone which i eventually do, and he gives a cock and bull explanation which i didnt even care enough to listen to. Come to room 767, hey!,now i've heard it all. Forgive me if i'm being overly dramatic, but come on, i didn't see that coming.
Ok, next, no, lets save next for tomorrow, i have to get back to work so i can blow this joint early, no working late for me today! Laters ya'll, xoxo.

Super Woman aka “The Rock”

There are moments in life that just really put a lot of things in perspective; especially as regards the future. Most times we don’t know what we want but it certainly helps if you know exactly what you don’t want. At least that way, you can make a start in any direction other than that you don’t want.
So, you might ask, what brought about my epiphany? A generator, a medium sized generator that refused to start! Yesterday evening after turning fuel into the gen (a chore I certainly don’t relish), I tried turning it on but it wouldn’t start so I checked the oil and found it was really dirty so I decide to pour out the dirty oil and replace it. After changing the oil, I pull on the starter but then the rope cut and in that moment I felt like screaming.
The horrible fact was we hadn’t had light in three days because the transformer had a problem and we had all sorts of things from soups to chicken and all in the freezer that needed preservation. In order words, the bloody gen had to come on and it was 7pm on a Sunday! Then the hunt began, I walked the length and breadth of my area trying to find anyone who could fix the gen. The roads were messed up because of the rains so I had to be very careful, dodging cars, bikes, strange looking men and gutters!
It was during my search that I realized how much I hated what I was doing, how many times have I had to fix things on my own, I am an electrician, a handyman and all you can think of on the home front because there’s no man around to help handle those sort of things. It made me appreciate my mum more for much as I get to do these things she’s been doing them for longer. I think awards should be given to single parents and for what it’s worth my Ma should be first in line!
She is a rock, she’s superwoman, she’s my mentor but then, I realize I’m not as strong as she is. I don’t want to have to deal with those sorts of issues, call me old fashioned but I want a man around who can handle things and leave me to take care of him and my babies. I’ve been known to be a rock and I’ve spent the better part of my life trying to prove that I don’t need anyone else and it took a generator breaking down to make me want to relinquish all hold on rockmanship!
I guess what I’m trying to say is, I know without a doubt that I don’t want to spend my life alone pretending to be a rock. We all need someone to share our lives with, the good and bad times. After all, what’s the point of a story if you have no one to tell it to? Well, I didn’t find anyone to repair the gen that night but someone promised to come over the next morning so I guess that settled that.
Need I add that I have begun fervent prayers for a gentle, kind, handsome, hardworking, churchgoing (true believer) man! It seems like a lot but with God all things are possible:) Laters y'all, xoxo…

I'm free!

So, i didnt go for the Tu face show, i opted to spend time with my friend who's travelling out of the country and i wont be seeing for a very long time(i know! the things i do and give up for my peeps:))
To the main gist, I'M FREE!!!! i wasn't given the boot at work, the person responsible for the mistake owned up to it and i got away with not even a slap on the wrist. Doesn't change the fact that i should have noticed the error, i'll definitely have to be more careful in future.
God certainly heard my prayer, not like he had much of a choice when i turned pastor overnight! Boy did i really pray over that situation, I wasn't having any sack letter after just a month of working there! Thank you Lord!
I gotta run now, catch y'all later. Xoxo
PS: I think i've met my knight in shinning and i promise i haven't put him on a pedestal, i think or feel he's the real deal. My fingers are permanently bent from keeping them crossed! Laters!

Mistakes.....

Have you ever done anything that made you go “What the hell did I just do?” There comes a time in our lives that we make the silliest of mistakes and all we can do is try to fix what’s left of a bad situation.
The truth is that worry and anxiety does not change or fix a thing so, why worry? It will take the grace of God though, to get to the point where we aren’t plagued by anxiety. This is because over time, anxiety and fear becomes our normal response when things don’t go the way we would like them to. The bible says however, that we have not been given the spirit of fear and it also cautions us to be anxious over nothing.
The thing is; I find myself in one of such situations where I have made a huge mistake. The mistake wasn’t mine but I take responsibility because I should have noticed it. It’s a work related issue, it involves money and has not yet been resolved. Usually I would be a nervous wreck but studying the word of God has helped me change in ways i wasn't even aware of.
I decided to put my faith and trust in God and have refused to worry. I believe that at the end of the day, things will work out in my favour and God never lets those who believe in him down.
So, the lesson for today is,” DO NOT GIVE INTO FEAR AND ANXIETY, EVER!”
Sure we all make mistakes, on a small scale that makes you go oops! Or on a grand scale that causes people to act like a plague just came in whenever you walk into a room! Whatever the case is, do not allow that mistake determine your tomorrow.
Right then, I need to apply myself to other things, like considering whether I should go for the Tuface show on Sunday since M.I is meant to be performing (yay!:) Laters y’all. Xoxo.

It will all get better in time.

Even though you've been hurt bad
Even though you've been betrayed
Even though you've been lied to
Even though you've been decieved
Even though you've been cheated
It will all get better in time. At first it might not feel like it will, but trust me, it will. The first step towards healing and recovery is letting go. Let go of all the hurt and pain because those that hurt you don't go around carrying the memory of the hurt they've inflicted. Most of them sold their conscience a while back so to them it doesn't matter what they do. And you're left carrying all the pain while they are free as birds!
You cannot afford to let them own you and determine the choices you make, you have to let it go, let it go!
If you can do that, i assure you, it will get better in time. I'm in a bit of an inspiring mood, so i thought i'd share the love *wink* Love y'all always.. Xoxo.

Will you be my ....

Okay, I had the craziest Sunday ever and it qualifies as the craziest because I got the proposition of a life time. Hold your breath, here it comes….. (Drum roll) “Will you be my girlfriend?” I mean, isn’t that the most preposterous question to ask in the 21st century? Scratch that, I’m past 23(note that i dont specify:)), I sure as hell don’t want to be anyone’s silly girlfriend, jeez my mates are getting married all over the place and what do I get, a “will you be my girlfriend?!”
I didn’t know what to say I admit, I was in shock and then I started to laugh, after which I said ok. Then I asked if an ok qualified as a yes, how daft was that? My only excuse is the fact that I was in shock, and did I mention we were in a car and he had a tight grip on my hand while the other was on the wheel and he had just finished saying how his mother thought he was a rough driver? Of course I said ok, I am not that daft! What if he decided to exhibit a bit of the roughness he’s famous for? What then ehn?! It was my rebellious spirit that refused to let me say an outright yes!
So, I got the girlfriend proposal, which I think is a bit better than the, “Would you be the mother of my children?” proposal from a total stranger! I might be wrong; I’ll leave you to decide. The tales we girls could tell of all the ridiculous things that have been said to us, and for what? Just to get into Jerusalem? Seriously! Come on guys, we are not that gullible! It is perplexing to say the least when some guy opens his mouth and begins to yarn absolute dust and he really expects you to believe him! I swear, just listening to that type almost make me long for the days when I could lay claim to the title “She Guzzler” because then, I would drink myself silly just to drown the sound of his voice.
Anyways, by all means congratulate me for i am in a relationship as i did say ok and have not come around to telling him he must be out of his darn mind. And to make matters worse he abandoned me by the roadside, and has already began to make suggestions about getting me lingerie that "he" likes!
I look forward to finding out how this sordid tale unfolds, meanwhile i may have just chased off one of the most fantastic guys i've ever met, either way, i'll definitely be letting you know. Till laters, xoxo.

Speak up and be heard!

What is acceptable behaviour at the workplace? What should you overlook and what should you take a stand against? At my ex workplace, i have to admit that the people there were different from any other place i have worked. They were manipulative, constantly seeking new means to make the next person seem incompetent and never taking responsibility for their lack of competence.
This much negativity was something i had never encountered so i guess you could call me "naive" because, as soon as i started telling every and anyone who cared to listen about my plight it seemed almost everyone had a similar story to tell about their workplace.
My first approach to all the negativity was to ignore them and try and keep the peace. I decided to never lose my temper, afterall, it was still an office and i didnt think bickering would be the best idea. Needless to say, that approach seemed like the worst idea at some point because it never got better! The more i tried to keep the peace, the worse things seemed to get and at some point i'm like, "What the bloddy hell is happening here!"
Well, i guess you can imagine how that turned out since i'm now at a different place. The thing is now, i fear i might be in danger of being labelled a villian because i've decided not to let history repeat itself and nip any form of insolence and rudeness in the bud before it blossoms into something caustic. The other day, there was an incident at work where a colleague i was pals with called me over the phone and was very loud and abrupt. Immediately i got into the office i cautioned him to never take that tone with me because i didnt appreciate it. When he was going to argue i cut him off and continued with business as usual, even approaching him when necessary like i hadn't just told him off. It wasn't because i wanted any form of controversy with him or because i dont like him but i feel that the earlier one draws a line and makes it clear enough, most people are unlikely to take the piss.
Since then, he's been very distant, maybe because he didn't see it coming and didn't expect me to be that abrupt but whatever his feelings, he has been nothing but absolutely polite and courteous so i guess my speaking up was not in vain.
There will always be people who will want to take advantage of you but even at the risk of being labelled the villian, you have to speak up. What do you need to speak up about in your life? What has got to change? At some point, we need to speak up and make ourselves heard or risk total disregard from those who think they alone have voices. Speak up! Xoxo

Where my love lies....

Have you ever heard a song you just fell in love with and all you wanted to do was just be one with the song. You just wanted to listen to it all day, learning all the words to the song, loving ever single beat, every rhythm and sound, even the singer's random words or exclamations, serve to make the song all the more perfect.
At some point you begin to wonder how the song writer, producer and everyone involved in the song were able to create such perfection. Its a beauty to experience such musical genius, where you just want to sing along and tell everyone you know of the song, wanting them to love it as much as you do. Wanting them to feel all the emotions you felt just from listening. I always love the feeling, its incomparable to anything i've ever felt and its a joy and a blessing, knowing that i can always listen to it and no one can take the feeling away. Knowing that the song in all its beauty will never disappoint me and i can love it and play it whenever! I have felt such beauty time and again but right now, my love lies with Tye Tribbett in "Bless the Lord" (Son of man)! What! what! its the most beautiful music to my ears, i cant get over the way it makes me feel. It inspires me to appreciate God's love for me, it makes me feel like everything will be fine, it gives me hope, it makes me joyous and i just want to dance all over the place. I dont think i will ever be fully able to express just how uplifting the song is to me. If you haven't heard it, please try and listen to it, i guarantee you will not be disappointed.
Now, i'm done expressing my love for the song, Happy New Month!!! Xoxo

Dont stop.

Okay, it gets serious when in a conversation, i'm the one saying, "You have to believe in love!" I was having a conversation with a guy and he told me of how his girlfriend hurt him and basically smashed his heart into a million tiny pieces. Now, he absolutely does not believe in love and its sad and frightening. Apparently, he's seeing someone and its serious on her part but not on his; He says, its so whenever she feels the need to walk away, it doesn't affect him.
This is bad, because at some point we've all had our hearts broken, is this how we all respond to heartbreak? If its the way we feel, little wonder relationships are always breaking up and married people are getting divorces. The world is becoming a vicious cycle of people who in their desperate need to protect themselves from heartache end up hurting people who in turn hurt other people.
Due to the fear of heartbreak, we've locked away the part of us that gives a hundred per cent, we no longer trust, we dont let ourselves really get into it. How on earth are relationships supposed to work when either one party is giving less than they should or in some cases, both parties arent giving as they ought to?
I know it hurts bad when your heart gets broken, but we can't risk not feeling the real thing because we've been hurt before. If you've ever been in an accident, that doesn't mean you dont get in a car again. You get in a car, you drive and you do it carefully. The point is, you drive.
Please, we have to take a chance, we cant afford to not take a chance on finding love. I have to believe that if we hold on long enough, we'll find the love that only the poets can fully describe. We cannot stop believing, i cannot stop believing, and you cant either. Dont ever stop.

I did not write this oh!

I swear, i had forgotten what it was like to have to wake up every morning to go to work. Its just past 2pm and i'm exhausted, i just travelled the lenght of lagos for a meeting which went quite well but my head is banging too hard and making such a fuss it doesnt appreciate it!
The weekend was fun, spent it with my friend, watched a bit of Spartacus, drank a lot of wine and of course, whats the weekend without a bit of gossip:) Catching up on what everyone else is doing and analyzing our expectations for the future.
Now, has anyone been seeing Spartacus? OMG! its more than a little risque for my taste and a bit too bloody. The storyline is as usual, man searches for the love of his life killing any and all in his path but loses her eventually and this changes him( think gladiator). Lots of blood, testosterone and rage(think 300). Lots of sex(think pornography). Like i said, a bit too much for me but it served as a means to pass time; as we marvelled at the decadence that gripped Rome in those days, thats if the potrayal in the series has any truth to it. Just be sure you dont ever see it with little kids or teenagers, and if you want to cause alarm, shock and hyperventilation, show it to your mother. If you're tilting towards the grim faced sermon, let your father see it. In all, try not to see it at all. I hope nobody tracks me down and sues me for that statement and if they do, "Its not me oh!i did not write this oh!"
Oh well, time to get back to work, catch ya laters. Xoxo

She's back!

For weeks, i've started to blog but i haven't been able to, not for a want of things to tell because there's actually a lot of things that have happened in my life. I think the problem lies in not knowing where to begin....
I started work on my documentary although i've had to hit the pause button because i got a new job and i have to settle down and then, make the time for the documentary. I finally made peace in my heart with someone who affected me in ways that unfortunately led to who i was(Dark and Twisty). In making peace within, i've been released in ways that i thought unlikely. I've been studying God's word more, making it to church even during the weekdays, without being forced and my best friend goes along with me which is great.
I have been a busy bee, having fun with my close friends, having a crush, stealing kisses under the moonlight.... :) i've been living! and it's been the best time ever. Finding a God-given purpose for my life and working towards realizing it has been such an exhilarating ride and even though i have to take a break, the dream will never die. I've worried, thinking, what if someone else decides to do what i'm supposed to be doing while i have to get my act together, what then? Then i realised, God who gave me the vision will make it a reality. Besides, no one can do what i do the way i do!!!
Life is such a journey and i wonder what each day will bring and i try to embrace it, making the most of what i have. Like Bilbo said, " Its a dangerous business stepping out your door everyday." You never know what may sweep you off your feet and if you'll land on your feet or your back. I pray we all find the grace either ways to always trust God to be right there with us, ensuring that we're just fine.
So, lets just say.... SHE'S BACK! Expect details on the work front, the job description, the people and the everyday craziness, it'll be crazy to not expect a bit of drama, right? Xoxo.

Me

Dont let me get me!!!!

Let's all go Kieta!

Right now, Nigerians are united in their rage against a common enemy and his name is Sani Kieta!
It must be true that there are moments when some people spazz out and do crazy stuff and Kieta did just that in the Nigeria-Greece game today. It was absolutely insane, i would like to know what was going on in his head when he acted out. Perhaps, it could give us an insight as to why serial killers and crazies act the way they do! The lash out against the Greek Torodisis was totally and absolutely uncalled for and to a certain degree cost Nigeria the match! He started off trying to hit him, when his fist didn't connect, he used his leg! for what?! I guess Kieta will now be used in the dictionary as a word to represent insanity, instead of saying Micheal is crazy, you could say Micheal is Kieta! or you could say Micheal just went Kieta on me! :) Ok, perhaps i'm being too harsh but hey, lets tell it as it is. On that note, i rest my case before i lose it and go Kieta on y'all! Xoxo

Believe!

I swear, trying to live a christian life is the hardest thing ever! It can only be done with special grace from God himself. Try this, make up your mind and decide that today, you will not get mad, you will not lie, you will not think bad thoughts, you will not be impatient. Right, now step outside.... Was i right or was i right? Infact, if you live with other people, you dont even have to step outside! Temptation abounds everywhere! Its absolutely exhausting and trying to say the least. Its either your family, friends, co-workers or the random guy on the street, they all seem to be trying really hard to get under your skin. Despite the constant temptations, living a christian life can be done. Just dont look to anyone to set an example for you because, there's every possibility they will let you down. Instead, seek God, ask for his grace because, there's nothing like it. If you listen long enough to the word of God, you begin to realise the truth to it and the difference it can make in your life if you just believe. Well, i'm a believer but i also have my weaknesses, the point is not about being perfect, but working towards doing the right things and making a positive change in your world. So today, i want to remind us that God does love us and he knows when we're stressed out to the point of breaking. All we need to do is seek him, thats all he wants, for us to turn to him. Here's to loving God and living right! Xoxo.

.......

my life requires music....
my words may not speak the truth but my eyes will.
i love to laugh
i wont be able to say the words all the time, but i'll listen if you'll say them:)

Words will never be enough to express who i am but if you care, you'll figure me out for yourself

Scarlet's words.

Zsa zsa zsu!

Now for the million dollar question,(drumroll please...) does the zsa zsa zsu really matter? I mean, can a relationship be sustained without the zsa zsa zsu? What are the odds of a relatioinship working without it? Seriously, i need to know, when i imply that i need the zsa zsa zsu, some people look at me like i just sprouted horns and fangs! Is it really that unimportant? If it is,what distinguishes a particular special relationship from the one you have with other friends of the opposite sex? In the deciding factors for getting into a relationship with someone, does it not feature at all?! Of course, there are different qualities we all require our potential other(s) to posses. For some, it ranges from God-fearing to funny, for others, wealthy to tall, which is all good, but where does the zsa zsa zsu feature in all of this? Perhaps it's over-rated and those of us who seek it are vain, irresponsible, over-sexed, crazy, thrill seeking individuals! Afterall, what does this zsa zsa zsu really offer especially after it burns out? As it has all the potential of a burning fire and will eventually burn itself out! But please, take a moment, imagine that feeling, where you have all those butterflies swarming around in your belly, the insanely inappropriate smiles, the wild thumping of your heart, the crazy belief that everything is right with the world, the embarassing loss of words that hit you and cause you to stammer like a buffon, the inexplicable joy, the excitement, that feeling of wanting to hug yourself and shouting to the world, "I'm happy!" The zsa zsa zsu... there's no beating it and really, dont knock it until you've felt it! Dont get it twisted, i'm not saying the zsa zsa zsu is all there is to a relationship, i'm saying you definitely need to feel it! If you haven't felt it yet and you're supposedly in a relationship, get out of it quick! We all need to feel it, even if you end up marrying someone you don't get the feeling with, dont you want to be able to look back and say, "I felt it!" even if it was just once? Xoxo.

To settle or not to settle.

I just got to thinking, are some of us just picky or are we downright judgemental? Somewhere in the recess of our minds, do we feel that we are better than some people and by God, what where they even thinking when they decided to walk up to us and ask us out! Is that the case or are we just on the search for "The One" and we are not willing to settle for anything else. Are we searching for that chemistry that always seems to elude us or, is the issue a mixture of both elements, the search for the one with the perfect chemistry and the case of pride. Or, does it go beyond that, into the inexplicable icon we have created in our mind of whom the perfect one is, which ensures that anyone who comes around and doesn't meet those (sometimes ridiculous or perhaps, not-so-ridiculous)standards becomes a first class irritant? Whatever the case may be, there are too many lonely people out there and the truth is, they're lonely because they arent taking any chances or, giving anyone the chance to make an impression. So what if you go out with the short, balding, potbellied dude with the crooked teeth! :0 yeah, i know, i amaze myself too! Seriously, that may be too much to ask but we could start somewhere, right? Well, i had an opportunity to start somewhere, with a God-fearing hardworking guy and i didnt take it. You ask why, i'll tell, i didnt take it because he didn't speak well enough for me, he wasn't suave enough, he didnt appreeciate my art, music and there was no zsa zsa zuu!
I guess, for some of us there's just no settling, and if you cant settle, what next? What if my paragon of virtue/ Adonis doesn't exist? Am i doomed to spend the rest of my life all by me lonesome! Now, thats a scary thought but i guess the heart wants what the heart wants! Or maybe this is me trying to ease my conscience and prepare myself for the future. There's this saying that if you believe, it'll come to you. I guess i'll let you know.... Xoxo

He loves me!

I seriously feel the need to blog, but the thing is, i have nothing to write about. Really, i'm at my wits end, i cant think of anything to write other than the fact that i feel the need to write something, but there's nothing to write about. Not music, love, men, books, shows, i really cant think of anything. Ok, a thought just came to me now, i could write about God! Alright.... i could try writing about God, i dont know much but i know he loves me and he loves you too. That in itself is a wonder, considering all the mischief i get up to, but its the truth, he does love me and it doesnt get much better than that. He's the lord of hosts and he loves us. He created the earth, all the heavenly bodies and all those beautiful sunsets, and he loves us. He's the i am that i am and he loves us. He's this great big God with all the power you can imagine and he still loves us. How's that for being totally cool and generous with his love? Well, for all its worth, i love him right back and if you do, be sure to make sure he knows...... Xoxo.

Rebirth...

The reason behind my long absence was to take a journey through my life, taking the time to discover the me beneath me. In so doing, i've come out stronger, calmer and happier than i thought possible. There is no greater power than realising who you really are and for me, it was about time. The total amount of time it took for me to get to this place of Zen was two weeks. This does not mean the work is over, its only just beginning but the first major steps have been taken and they are the really important ones. The past two weeks started out dark and miserable but then, evolved into beauty, yup, just like a butterfly:) I had to let go of all the basic things, like my bed, favourite meals, friends and loved ones, books, work, the blog and most especially my music! It was hell at first, but then it got better and now, i'm absolutely glad i made the move and the sacrifices, like they say, "No pain no gain." It was a kind of spiritual purging where you spend your days meditating, listening to the word, praying, learning life lessons, working out and sharing life experiences. The whole experience has lifted my spirit and given me such strenght, hope and courage i didnt dare believe i could posses. It was a constant battle dealing with my negativity and i must admit i'm not quite there yet, but there's been a definite shift in the right direction.
I believe at some point in all our lives, we need to step back, look inwards and try to sort out all our emotional and physical baggage. The world around us gets downright depressing and irritating and in a bid to survive, we become strangers to ourselves, this is why we need to take me time. We need to rediscover ourselves, those things that form the core of who we really are.
Having said that, its great to be back!!! i imagine i was missed, well, if only a little! Xoxo

For the love of music...

One of my most fav things to do is discover new artists, not necessarily brand new singers, but singers who aren't exactly mainstream. Over the years, i've managed to find a few whom i totally love, most of whom are indie artists. The great thing ahout indie music is that it has this raw and truthful feel and it also comes in various genres. Who loves Grey's Anatomy?! Yay!!! i believe its the absolute best series ever and i also believe one of the reasons they're soooo fantastic, is the kind of songs they play on the show. I've discovered a lot of artists from watching the show and i swear, they are absolutely marvelous. There are songs that speak to your spirit and are not pretentious, those are the kind of songs i appreciate. Songs that you actually feel, they give you goosebumps when you listen. Music has always been a big part of my life and i cant imagine what the world will be like without it. Hence, my mad chase to constantly fill my spirit and soul with such songs, i sigh with intense pleasure from just recalling my collection. There are also musicians who have been out there for generations that i discover and its my absolute pleasure to revel in the generosity and beauty of their music. Take Peter Gabriel for example, he's fantastic, and i keep thinking,"How could i have missed him!" I guess we all have things we're extremly passionate about, things that stop us in our tracks every single time. For some of us, it could be music, family, our partners, art, and yes, money. Whatever your passion is, make it count for something and be proud of it. Except of course, your passion is eating other people, then, you're truly on your own. Seriously, dont take this personally, but please stay on your own!
Here are a couple of people i think are great, you could check them out: Ingrid Michealson, Inara George and Regina Spektor. Enjoy! Xoxo

All the wrong decisions!

I've been thinking, why is it that some decisions that have been made after serious thought, end up seeming like the wrong decisions to have made? I mean, you dwell on a situation, you chew it, spit it out, chew a bit more, then you act on a decision you feel is the best course of action. At the end of the day, it seems, it was the worst possible move and all your alternative plans would have been much better!Its downright frustrating, i believe its time for me to hire someone who'll make all my bad decisions for me, then when things go south, i can blame them! Really, how can something that felt absolutely right turn out to be so wrong? i shudder to think of the gravity of my bad decisions if my good decisions are so off tangent, it borders on craziness! Yeah, i've finally lost my man, i know, i couldn't even manage two months. I just couldn't take it anymore, i told him i didn't get how he could miss someone he barely knows,and he said it was because he cared but he could hold back if i wanted. Obviously, i said i wanted with an exclamation mark, and added that it was ok if he stopped with the pet names too. I mean, sweetcakes!!! i almost puked, that is just wrong, soooo wrong, jeez! Well, i haven't heard from him since then, this happened yesterday and i'm shocked, what did i do that was so bad?! Seriously, i was just being honest, when did that become a bad thing?! I'm more upset than i care to admit because the plan was to get him to stop doing things i find repulsive, hence, allowing me to really begin to appreciate him, and he stops calling, typical! I guess, its on to the next one!!! Watch out world, Scarlett is on the prowl again!!! Xoxo.

The weekend!

This past weekend was fun, i celebrated a new year with a dear friend, caught up with old friends and got serenaded by a guitarist who didnt know when to stop! Being at the beach way past midnight was not a first, i always enjoy it, the waves, the cool air and the occasional spray of salt water that brings you back to reality. The two things that could go wrong would be if, 1)You find yourself in bad company, or 2) You meet the wannabe guitarist who's trying to make a living. Bad company is totally out of the question, because, why on earth would you go to the beach at midnight with someone you dont like?! It could end with either one of you fratenizing with the fishes down under, so you dont wanna go there! Now, the guitarist, that could happen to anyone, he was annoyingly persistent, he played the same tune for every single song he attacked us with. I kept thinking, "someone please put this fellow out of my misery, please!" Afterwards, i subscribed to the popular saying, "if you cant beat them, join them!" I whined right along with him and even asked if he would take requests, and he said, sure. I asked for Lady Gaga's "Poker face" and he responded with, "Baby you are hot!", what on earth he meant i have no clue. After that, we managed to persuade him to leave then we had the famous Kuramo fish, it was nice, really nice! We ended the outing with a bit of club hopping, needless to say, it was fun.
I think one of the dangers of conversing with someone constantly is, you begin to get attached. You start expecting the calls and when they dont come, you fret! Which is why there are times when i ignore calls, just to give myself some space. That being said, "My man" still calls,and i must add, the conversations are getting quite interesting;) Anyways, the thing is i really do not think it wise, getting attached to someone you dont really know much about, who is also miles away! He still calls so i guess i must be doing something right!I guess, i'll see how it goes.....Xoxo

Keep Breathing

The storm is coming, but i don't mind
People are dying, i close my blinds
All that i know is I'm breathing now
I want to change the world instead i sleep
I want to believe in more than you and me
All that i know is I'm breathing, all i can do is keep breathing, all we can do is keep breathing, now....... Ingrid Michealson

Ever felt that it was taking all you had left to just breathe?
like you were standing in the sea that is life and the waves just kept knocking the breath out of you, and just when you managed to get up, still gasping for breath, another wave knocked you down so hard, you almost felt your bones rattle!

Yes, we have all had the wind knocked out of us at some point, but we didn't just lay down and drown. We had to keep swimming, swimming for life, love, our dreams, beliefs, we swam for all we held dear and we'll keep swimming for all we hold dear.

Times will come when it will take all we've got to stand up but we must remember, all we can do is keep breathing. Put your trust and faith in the most high and fight to keep breathing. Despite how much the odds are stacked against you, keep breathing. When they take the one thing you desire the most, keep breathing. Keep breathing.... Xoxo.

Normal!

Seriously, being normal is way harder than i thought it would be! If you think its obnoxious when a guy you barely know calls you "baby", say, aye. AYE!!!!i swear, i'm running out of patience but i did vow to do this, so, i'm going to grin, bear it and keep going. I'll even call, no, i'll just text my man:) later tonight. Ok, i lie, i'll try my hardest to do it tomorrow,seriously, i will(this is me giving me a pep talk). Speaking of normal, Lady Gaga and Micheal Bolton? i'm having a hard time picturing them. Before someone gets a pulmonary disorder, they aren't dating! its their new collabo, "Murder my heart", talk about an extremely wierd pair. Guess MB is looking to up his game in his new album by introducing the new pop era into his extremely old, way old school. Dont get me wrong, i love Micheal but his crooning have become rather depressing and i think Gaga is a definite pick me up for him! Besides, with a title like, "Murder my heart", who better to get killed by? Xoxo.

Life and this single girl

Wouldn't it be great if we could just pick out someone we find nice to look at, not necessarily "drop dead gorgeous", but someone who wont make you scream if you happen to wake up in the middle of the night and spy his/her face. Then say, you know what? i think you're cute, lets forget this whole love business, i'll be good to you, i'll put you first at all times, i'll share whatever i have with you, i wont cheat if you dont;) i'll put out whenever you want as long as you ask really nicely:) lets get married! Alright, i know it seems a bit jaded, but i think it'll make life a whole lot easier, we wouldn't have too much expectations of our partners and there'll be no chance of heartbreak. This would be the perfect union, built on a foundation of total understanding, i believe that this could actually work! I really should start working towards encouraging people to see the sense in this line of action, but before i do, here's the update on my, "I'm a normal girl project." As usual, i havent called him, he's been doing most of the calling and earlier today, he asked me to text him, i said ok! (i'm making progress!)I did text and my message read," Why do you want me to send you a message anyways?" I know, it doesnt get much more vague than that, but what can i say,i cant help myself! The point is, he's not running with his heels hitting the back of his head! YET! So, perhaps i am normal afterall, i guess i'll know soon enough. I had a hell of a day and to top it off, i cooked, i actually made a meal that involved more than two ingredients, which would explain my exhaustion, so this is where i say adios! Xoxo.

Life and the single girl

And so it begins, the infamous scribblings that are going to propel me to the next level. Well, at least some level where i'm not trapped in a world where i feel like i'm the only one who gets me. I cannot begin to tell the tales of my life as i would never stop typing and you would never stop reading and then we'd both die. My case would be death by memories and your's death by disbelief! I've often found myself in situations where i get accused of being the bad guy, why? you might ask, i'll tell you. I'm the bad guy because i never respond the way i'm expected to. For instance, a guy says, you know what,its over. I'd say, oh great, see you around then! Apparently, the normal reponse should be, " But why, why are you doing this to me, you've ruined my life, now i'll never love again! how dare you? HOW DARE YOU?! I KILL YOU!!!!!!" Okay, perhaps thats a bit much :) but seriously what do people want? Its like some of us want to break other people just to prove to ourselves that we have power, no matter how little and its simply ridiculous because, there'll always be someone who has the ability to get under our skin and hence, the vicious cycle continues. Anyways, the real issue is, i'm at the point where i've decided to make a change, you know, really put myself out there for once and just go with the flow. To do that, i need a potential dater and there's this guy, i'm not sure i even like him but in a bid to prove i'm a normal person, i'm going to try not to expose my alien tendencies and i wont give him the boot. The great part is, he's miles away so i have distance on my side. Which means, there's no reason i should blow this unless i sense he might be an alien whose alien brother is actually my father!(you must forgive my dark and dry sense of humour!). If i can make this last for two months then i'm on to a great start! I'll definitely keep you posted, this should be some kind of fun, laters then. Xoxo

Night out with the arts!

Nigth out with the arts was amazing! and i had a fantastic time. It had its fair share of clowns:) but in all, it was a great show. The idea was basically for aspiring artists to perform and the audience got to judge them. There were singers, dancers and comedians. Some performances were great, some awkward and some downright ridiculous! This particular set had me thinking, some people do not posses an ounce of shame, they've sold their shame for a few minutes on the stage!:) Then there was the bassist, not only could he play, he had such a voice, Lucifer would be envious!!!(perhaps i'm biased!)i swear i fell in love for a few minutes! Anyways, the show happens every last friday of the month and is hosted by the Society for Performance Arts in Nigeria(SPAN). SPAN is dedicated towards ensuring the growth of performance arts in Nigeria and this i believe is a worthy cause, we should all get involved in it. We could either volunteer, become members or contribute financially as individuals or as a company. On that note, have a fantastic May! Xoxo....

And the weekend begins!

I heard of this event happening tonight, i know this might be coming at you a li'l too late, but i figure its worth checking out! Its called "Night out with the arts", its a show put together by SPAN, Society For The Performance Arts In Nigeria. Its supposed to have art on display, music and comedy. I'll be there and hopefully it will be a fantastic way to start the weekend. Either way i'll let y'all know how it goes! here's to keeping my fingers crossed and having a blast... xoxo

Today, Fry'day, Month o' showers 30, 2010
Time: 6:00 in the evenin' - 10:00 in the evenin'
At: Coral reef, 10A Ikoya Ave, Off Macpherson Drive, Ikoyi, Lagos

The point is......

From the need to give more meaning to my life outside the work and relationship routine, was the idea of Muse & Music born. I had always thought of starting a music blog since music is the only thing i'm really passionate about, but i kept thinking, who would join? what would i write? would it be engaging enough? and the questions went on. I mean, i cant hold down a steady relationship with a human being so what gives me the nerve to think i can hold down one with my laptop and the human beings who might be unfortunate enough to join me? I would without a doubt bore them to tears at an alarming rate as i have already begun to do, as being witty has never been my strongest point! Yet, i went ahead, and now i have a blog, with four followers, its not much but its still my blog and my followers. I guess i dont know how this will end, i might stop after a couple weeks because the lack of followers might become depressing, i might actually get more followers or i might not and not care anyway, because i find i actually enjoy doing this, followers or not. The thing is, we never know how things will go and we'll never know until we do something. Point is, do something and enjoy it for as long as it lasts, and oh, dont forget to keep your fingers crossed and pray about it!
Love always...xoxo

Who is your fav artist so far in 2010 : click on the link to vote!

Who is your fav artist so far in 2010 : modpoll.com

Goodbye, Da Grin.

It is always so sad to lose one so young and in their prime. It is with a sad and heavy heart that i say goodbye to one of Naija's upcoming and talented artiste, Da Grin. Rest in peace brother...


Light a Candle

Light a candle, it'll help to remind you
Of your time together on earth,
and as the flame flickers, remember
His kindness, his goodness, his worth.
So, glow little candle, that briefly,
You'll know that his memory can't die,
As you see his face in the glowing,
Shed a tear, say a prayer, then goodbye.

Quotes

And the night shall be filled with music,
And the cares that infest the day
Shall fold their tents like the Arabs
And as silently steal away.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, The Day Is Done

Hello my baby!

I am in absolute shock, i am still reeling! My best friend sent me a message yesterday and it read: hello my baby, r u sleeping baby, i'm outside baby.... i was rather alarmed, but, the message continued: ...and so it goes from Julius Agwu's new attempt at music, can you imagine what music has become! I had a good laugh but refrained from making any comment until i had heard the song myself. I have and i must say that not only is it ridiculous, but it makes a mockery of those who actually take the time to create good lyrics or find good songwriters. Its obviously not enough to make a nice looking video, content counts for quite a lot. I'll take a song that has great lyrical content and depth, with a not so quality video anyday, over a good looking video with no depth whatsoever to the song! Personally, i think Julius the Genius should stick to comedy, which he's quite the genius at. If you haven't seen the video, scroll down to the youtube link and search for Julius Agwu's Hello Baby and share what u think! Afterall, i might be a bit biased!

Music, an aphrodisiac?

Music has been known to act as an aphrodisiac. People tend to forget that human senses are powerful reactors and can trigger emotions. Imagine the last sad song you heard and how it made you want to cry. You probably felt depressed afterwards. That is because music can affect human emotion. Music can create moods of sadness and depression (what did you listen to after a bad break-up?), happiness, manic energy, and even love and desire. Try sitting on a couch with your loved one with the lights turned down and a romantic song playing on the stereo. Just wait and see if the mood doesn’t turn romantic.

After about 10 years of being away, its good to have Sade back, but really, has she still got it or has the time away been cruel to her? There's a lot of competition, and i wonder, has she got what it takes?

For the love of music