Letting go, the hardest thing.

Letting go is the hardest thing to do, and I think it hits you the hardest when after all the time spent trying to let go, someone does the unthinkable and mentions the name of the person who you should be letting go of and it feels like your heart just slammed out of place and into your ribcage and you aren’t quite sure what’s stunning you, the fact that your heart moved or the fact that it moved when the person’s name was mentioned.

After all this time, after all the self-talk about you being able to do better by far and the talk from your friends telling you what a punk your punk was, your silly little heart still didn’t get the memo. After your eyes almost wept blood, after your fingers went through the pain of deleting all those messages and pictures, after your feet pounded pavement in a bid to erase him, your thighs still hurt from all the jogging! After you stopped your poor ears from listening to songs you love because it reminds you of this person, after your brain made a fantastic case for why you should be apart and how you can do better, your silly little heart still did not get the memo! Isn’t the entire body supposed to work as a unit?! Isn’t every part of you supposed to support every other part of you?! How can your heart not get this memo?! How can my heart not get this memo?!

How is this even possible! What makes it even worse is when said individual has moved on totally, doesn’t even mention your name like they never knew you existed, that is just the killer! Whoever said letting go was hard lied, it’s the hardest thing to do. Especially when you want to but it seems like the world is conspiring against you. All of a sudden the person’s name becomes the most popular, everyone has the same name, everywhere you turn every girl is called Julia, everywhere you turn every boy is called John! Even the carpenter now wants to go by his other name John! Seriously?!!!

I honestly cannot say the surest and fastest way to letting go but I’ve realised in my experience that if you don’t go through the natural process of anger, pain and grieving you won’t move on. Don’t repress the feelings, just feel what you feel and then slowly but surely you will start to heal but while you’re at it you must not forget the most important thing of all: make new memories! Start living again, go out, learn to dance, sing out loud, laugh, be open to new experiences, try new stuff, if you can afford it make time and take a trip, live! Try to do all these and pretty soon you’ll begin to feel like yourself again.

I guarantee you that we cannot remain the walking wounded forever. So, here’s to surviving that train wreck and coming out on top and still remaining open to finding what everyone is really looking for; True love….Xoxo. I was listening to A Thousand Years- Christina Perri when I wrote this and for some reason it made me weepy (I am not the weepy sort, nothing wrong with the weepy sort though) Don’t know why i put that down... Live! Xoxo!