May you find your silver lining

When did being one’s true self stop being enough?
Aren’t we supposed to be ourselves and get accepted for being ourselves?
Why is living by moral principles becoming something most people are finding too difficult to do?
When did doing the right thing start making one seem stupid?
Why do people tell lies and allow you make important decisions based on these lies?
These are a few questions that have been weighing on my mind for some days now. I found myself walking past the mirror in my room and I stopped and looked into it and the thought came to my head, “When did being you stop being enough?”
The last few days have been a bit trying for me; from coming to terms with a reality I was trying so hard to not accept to feeling bitter at a friend for something I perceived as her wrong towards me. It has been difficult and heartbreaking but in the midst of it all, there was a silver lining in the form of Elara.
Elara is a study group for young girls that I volunteer with. Saturday was my first weekend with them and I had an amazing time, it’s so refreshing being around these girls, the way they think, the things they find funny, their stubbornness and those questions that make you want to hit your head on the wall….:)
I certainly needed a bit of rescuing and just being with them helped. It made me feel good just being a part of them and trying to help out. I was a little worried at first because part of volunteering means you put yourself in a position where these girls look up to you and you basically have to become a role model of sorts. We teach them about studying, being better at whatever they do, morality and “general goodness”.
The concept of this scared me because I kept thinking, “How on earth am I going to teach them being good when I’m not good?!!" Eventually I figured that Veronica who invited me to come check them out to see if I’d be interested must have seen something good or she wouldn’t have. Plus the knowledge that I have those girls in my life now will help me be better for them and for me, so I guess it’s a win win situation.
I know I’m going to learn a lot from them and I look forward to that, I just pray that God gives me the grace to stay committed to them. It’s such a wonderful feeling doing something good just for goodness sake, no strings, nothing. This is giving me some purpose and now I can focus on someone other than myself. So, here’s to being purpose driven and finding something to do that brings us joy. Xoxo.