Letting go

For starters, work is great, I feel like I’ve been pushing myself a bit more and it feels wonderful. Marcus and I have had our break up before we even started dating talk and it has not changed a darn thing. We still manage to accidentally fall on each other’s faces *rolling my eyes* how can a girl like me who I thought, (note the use of the past tense) I thought I was smart, so it’s amazing how I managed to get myself into this crappy situation. It feels like whenever I believe we are done and I’m finally moving on, I get roped back in and I swear it’s getting really annoying and I have no one to blame but myself. I have never been one to pass judgement, I try really hard not to because I always believe if you aren’t wearing the shoe…. And this situation has given me a new found appreciation as to why some people do stupid things. Sometimes they just do. It just is, I don’t know how to explain it and I know it sounds stupid but some things just are until they aren’t. This craziness with Marcus just is until it will cease to be and I need to find a way to really end it and keep it ended. The truth of the matter is, I know what I need to do and I also know that doing it will cost me my friend and I’m not ready to lose that. I wish everything was simple, I wish … I’m pretty sure God is tired of me and my silliness, he’s probably looking at me and thinking, “Which kain pikin be this abeg?!” Because I have begged him, tried to bribe him and all sorts because of this Marcus situation! Lord help me!!!!! Oh well, what is my life without the ever constant drama, my friend seems to think I thrive on it but I don’t agree, I don’t need to feel like my stomach is dropping to my feet or my heart is jumping out of my chest all the time! Ok, maybe not all the time… Point is, i need a drama free distraction. I started Salsa classes on Wednesday and it was amazing! Maybe it’s the distraction I need if I take it seriously enough. I learnt the basic steps, made a fool of myself a few times, got swung around which felt so liberating! Danced and just had a wonderful time, it felt so good and I can’t wait to do it again today. For the record, the classes happen at Lagoon Restaurant which is on Ozumba at VI on Wednesdays and Fridays if you want to try it out. Back to work xoxo PS: You can feel free to pray for me!